Since June, I've been going through... Yes! Another flare!! I guess I had spoken too soon again, haha. This has to be my second year anniversary flare. I've been hit pretty hard with almost a full body flare and I'm still recovering from it after three months. All of my worst areas are on the same exact spot from each year. So darn stubborn! My legs were so clear and soft for months and my feet were healing really nicely, and then bam! I get these really nasty raw and oozy rashes on my calf and feet that I got two years ago and the year before, accompanied with some more rashy, flaky, and oozy skin all over. Luckily though, my face and neck stayed completely clear this time!!! My neck used to be such a disaster! My hands were also slowly healing, but then they got worse again, and my wrists now look like how they did last year. My arms, back, and stomach aren't so bad, just a bit rashy and dry.
The past few months I've been eating really clean. No processed foods, and I've also cut out gluten and dairy. Not really for my skin (and it doesn't really seem to make a difference), but for my overall health, since I know it's definitely not good to stay inside the house all day while eating cake and chips, haha. On and off now, I've been using tsw as an excuse to eat unhealthy.
"I feel like shit right now, so I need to treat myself to something! Can't go out or do anything fun, so I might as well eat all the cookies in the house!"
Not to mention, ever since tsw, I'm slimmer than I have ever been, which also gives me another excuse. I've always carried some extra weight around my stomach and thighs, so I'd often have to exercise and be conscious of what I ate (I looked kinda chubby throughout most of middle school haha), but now that it's gone, it's hard not to feel like you can eat anything you want.
However, recently more than ever, I realized I needed to be eating healthier, not just to be skinny, but to stay young and healthy. I don't want to develop any health problems, so I've been really strict with myself about it. I also try to get in about 15 minutes of sunlight a day too. Im in the house most of the time, so I really need that sunlight.
I'll be turning 19 this month, and to be honest, I still haven't felt like I've turned 18 yet because I've done nothing these past two years. No school, no social life, no fun or any celebrations. Just dealing with the hell of tsw. Time is going by so fast, and the uncertainty of when it will all end really makes me anxious. I feel like I picked the worst time of my life to go through tsw. I don't want to be so pessimistic, but the truth is that I hate my life right now. Despite saying all this (I know all I do is complain) I have already decided that this is the decision I have made and I will stick with it until the very end. I know I can get through this. I will, and you will too!
