Hey guys, it's currently 8:30am and I haven't been able to sleep the whole night, so I thought I'd just make a little update! Lol
So here's what's up... I've been feeling amazing lately! I'm probably the best I've been since the whole withdrawal. My whole body has been healing very well, and my skin somehow survived the harsh New York winter! I've had some dry skin and rashes here and there, but it was definitely nothing to complain or be bothered about. Also, although I am still taking baths, I think it's soon about time I start taking showers (this gets me so excited because I've just been so dependant on baths!!)
My feet that were really bad are almost completely clear. I just have this one spot on my left foot that oozes a little if I scratch it too hard, but it hardly bothers me, so I can walk all I want! My arms get a little rash from time to time, but it usually clears up and hardly bothers me as long as I don't wear irritating clothes. My legs, which I have always had a problem with for so many years are actually clear, just some discoloration and a bit of dryness. If I give it some more time, my legs will actually just be normal smooth legs! It's unbelieveable considering how bad my legs used to be. I always thought I'd have to live with my rashy legs that would always get comments whenever I wore shorts. I sure can't wait for this summer! <3
My hands however, are my worst area right now. Just last month I had blisters all over them and they were just a painful,bloody, oozy mess, but for the past couple weeks, they have been healing nicely. I think it might possibly be due to all the different soaks I've been trying out everyday like ACV, tea tree oil, oregano oil, garlic, honey and probably a whole lot other stuff I just don't remember! Lol. It's really clearing up though, and I hope it doesn't flare again, at least not too badly.
Thing is, I've just been so desperate lately because I feel like I'm this close to having a normal life again, and I just want that to happen so I can finally start college. I haven't applied yet because I am still unsure if this Fall would be too soon. I'm just still not used to going out every single day and it's still too early to decide, especially since you never know when you might flare again or how bad it'll be. I don't want to be worrying about my skin so much everyday while attending school, so I definitely want to be in my best condition.That's why I've been trying to go outside whenever I can, and start making sure I go outside everyday to prepare myself. I don't really go out for very long (a couple hours or less). Going out too long makes me very nervous and fearful, probably because I'm so used to being in the comfort of my own home in case something happens to my skin. I know I have to toughen up though, because my house has just been like a crutch for me, and it's so hard to let go.
I've never been so anxious and excited for the future (maybe that's why I can't sleep right now).I really feel like an end to these days are finally coming along. I had written a long list of all the things I wanted to do once I get better, but now that I'm finally better, there's just so many things to do that I don't know where to begin. I guess sometime soon I'll be going on that shopping trip! Ha! Lol ;) I need to throw out all these old smelly clothes!
If you're in a dark place right now, I hope this post encourages you. You WILL heal, so please don't give up. I'm sending my love your way! <3